No one wants to think about their cherished and beloved pet passing away. But over the years I have had many, many pets and sooner or later they all pass away. This does not make me an expert on how to cope with the loss of a pet, but I thought it was a subject I needed to address on our website even though it is painful. Recent events have led me to believe their is a need for us to discuss this and bring it out into the open. After you have read my opinion about this subject please feel free to voice your own thoughts in our guest book, the confidential opinion poll at the bottom of this page or by EMAILING ME.

Pets come in all forms, shapes, sizes, breeds and levels of intelligence. I have owned just about everything at one time or another, even a chinchilla and a sand crab when my children were young. We had a houseful of show cats for many years and some of them we were more attached to than others. But we loved them all and with each death came a new heartache. (except for the sand crab which we gave away because he kept getting loose in the house) My husband is just as emotional as I am over our pets and sometimes we would cry for days over the loss of a pet.

There are definite stages of grief when you lose a pet just as there are stages of grief when a human dies. Sorrow, profound grief, anger, even shock come into play depending on how the pet died. Sometimes we have to hide our own bereavement in order to explain to a young child why a pet will not be with them anymore.

If a pet has lived a long, happy life with it's owner or family sometimes old age and the onset of natural diseases associated with age compel us to make a decision as to whether we must end the pet's misery or allow it to live just a little longer because we know we will be so lost without it. This is especially hard on a pet owner and I have had to make this heart-wrenching decision too. But usually people who love their pets and know them really well make the right decision because their pet more or less "lets them know" when the time has come to let go. Do not ever blame yourself for the loss of a pet which you had to have euthanized because it's quality of life was no longer happy or pain free.

But I want to address some ways to deal with the loss of your pet. If it was an only pet it is especially painful. If you have multiple pets the pain isn't any easier, but the time of grief seems to be shorter because you still have those pets that are still with you to help you get over your loss.

It is the people who have been single pet owners I hear from the most and they often tell me they are so distraught they will never get another pet, that they do not want to have to go through the process ever again of losing their best friend. They are the people I feel a need to help the most. You see, I have thought about the day that will certainly come when I no longer have Gypsy. She is an exceptional dog and without a doubt the most precious pet I have ever owned. She has been close to death several times and I was so distraught with anxiety that I could hardly function. So, I know when I have to let go of her a part of me will die too.

But unlike some people who say they will never get another pet I have already thought about that dreaded day and decided that I will look for another Chihuahua puppy immediately! No, a new puppy will not take the place of my Gypsy, but I believe it would help me heal the hole in my heart. I do not argue with people who don't wish to own another pet, but I do try to gently suggest that they get another one. The ones who take my advice are always glad they did.

Now I want to ask all the people who have vowed to never own another pet because it is too painful to lose them, what if you felt that way about having children? Would you only have one? Would having two mean you might have to grieve twice? Of course we don't think that way when we consider having children! If we did there would be far fewer children born. I feel the same way about getting a new pet when you lose one you loved so much. You will never love the one you lost any less, nor will you love the "new one" any more. But there are no guarantees in life about anything! We all could loose a human loved one tomorrow or even our own life. That is why I say live life to the fullest. Take the bad with the good because the "good" enriches your life so much more.

Give yourself time to grieve over the loss of your pet, but don't grieve too long. Put away it's toys and bedding, it's bowls and anything that causes you grief. Keep a picture or two out to keep the pet near your heart forever just the same as you would keep the picture of beloved deceased relative. But when you are ready, please consider finding yourself a new pet. You will become joyful again with a new baby in the house. You will learn it's special habits and bond with it. Before you know it the new pet will make your heart glad again. You will realize how much you missed little things like taking your pet out for walks or fixing it's meals. And with lots of love and good health care your new pet will live a long, happy life, too.

But PLEASE, don't put your head in the sand and decide you never want to own a pet again. There are so many wonderful pets out there who need us. They are waiting for your special smile, your loving touch, even your scent that they will cherish more than life itself!

Thank you for reading this editorial. I hope I have helped someone out there who is wrestling with this problem. And for those of you who have not owned a dog for a while I offer my newest page of famous quotes and excerpts from famous writers who say it better than I can . . .

LOVELY, TIMELESS WORDS OF WISDOM ABOUT DOGS
Printer-friendly version also available!

(easy return)